Don't just assume things!
by Green Sphynx
Summary: Poland will explain to you that you are wrong with all your fics about him. For he isn't, like, always with Liet, is he? -Not the most serious story I have written in my life...-


**This story is NOT serious. It's my first APH-fic and once I feel like I can get a good grip on the characters I'll start to write some serious stuff. Actually Poland is one of my favorite characters, so don't ask me why I make him look so ridiculous (apologies to poor little Poland).  
****(This is written as a reaction on the pairings I (and Poland) found on with Poland)**

**No yaoi, but certainly implied intentions of that sort.**

**Alas, poor me, but APH isn't mine T.T**

_**

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Don't just assume things!**_

"_I think you're like, totally misunderstanding something! All of you seem to think I only circle around Liet. You think I'm like this totally obedient dog. You think that, don't you!_

_Well, I'm like, totally gonna prove you wrong! I can get everyone I want, you know? Because I'm really good! I'm not just Liet's, I'm not his and I can, like, totally get anyone!_

_I just never tried it before."_

…

"Hey Germany! Can I come over?"

"What for?" Germany stared at Poland indifferently.

"I think we should, like, totally hang out some more! Let's just have some fun!"

"Hang out?" Germany turned around completely to face Poland, one eyebrow twitching slightly. _Poland should have taken that as a bad omen._

"Yeah, totally!"

"No."

Germany walked through the door and smashed it closed in Poland's face.

…

"_That was like, totally not okay. But I should have known Germany wasn't really the best to start with. He's, like, completely in for Italy. Someone who can't even play with someone else is like, totally not worth the effort._

_I think I should try it a little further from home? 'Cause it wouldn't be a problem politically you know?"_

…

It seemed like every time Poland tried to sit a little closer, Japan would slightly scoot away. Only a little.

"Japan, I like, totally love this table!" Poland smoothed the fabric around him while he was sitting – rather uncomfortable he had to admit – with his knees under the strange low table which seemed to have a heater underneath. "It is so warm. My whole body is, like, getting warm and fluffy. Or should I say hot?" He winked at Japan.

Japan laughed sheepishly," then, would you like to have a refreshing bath?"

Poland's eyes lit up," totally yes! Will you come with me?"

_When Poland found himself sitting in an ice-cold bath – all alone – he considered this mission no success._

…

"_Okay, that Japan is like, totally too shy! I'm so glad I didn't make a move in the end, 'cause I'm sure he would be like, totally useless in bed. Seriously, someone that shy can't have any experience! It would have been a complete disaster. I totally don't do virgins._

_Although England looked kind of weird when I met him on the way out…"_

…

"It's been quite a while since you last visited me, Poland."

France was smiling all to happily when he poured Poland a glass of wine.

"Yeah, that's like… you know…"

"…true?" France grinned, finishing his sentence.

Poland gulped, looking up at the taller man, leaning over him with a dangerous glint in his eyes.

"I-I-I think I should, like, leave?" Poland quickly raised to his feet, being pushed back down on the couch by France.

"Already? But France-nii-san would like to play some more!"

Poland squeaked and slipped underneath France's arm, running for his life.

_He should have known better._

…

"Lieeeeeeeet!"

"Wha…?"

Lithuania found himself being squished by Poland jumping him at full speed.

"Liet, I want you to, like, take me _now_!"

"B-but… _why_?"

"Because I totally need you now! I'm trying to, like, make my point here!"

"What point!"

"That doesn't matter!" Poland started pushing at Lithuania's collar and tried to pull him into a heated kiss.

"Wh… Stop it!"

"But Liet~" Poland whined, trying to get access to Lithuania's mouth with his tongue. "I want you now!"

"_I_ don't want you _now_! I'm busy! Can't you see?"

_Poland figured he lost the fight when rubbing the giant lump on his head._

…

"_I totally told you you were misunderstanding right? That was proof._

_I do have a headache now. Stupid Liet. I'll, like, totally teach him to turn me down!_

_But I think I'll, like, wait until he's finished working with that…"_

**

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Please tell me how badly I failed with the personalities of these characters so I can improve myself!**


End file.
